She is Already Dead- An Analysis of Shape

by Kristen Pearson

Fall 2002

Memo 1, 16:00 hours:

Dear Captain,

Urgent!!! We must capture a sickly thin, half-clothed woman if we truly desire to understand the normal woman from this planet; the specimen from the Hubble Space Station with noticeable fat on her body and a few wrinkles on her face must have been exiled from Earth because of her imperfections. After closely examining a credible piece of literature from this planet entitled Shape, I have determined that our 5’8”, 140 pound creature is hugely obese; she must be exterminated as she was intended to be by her culture, or our data for this galaxy will be very inaccurate. Even if we are unable to obtain another specimen, I believe that Shape will provide us with some great insight into the average woman of this planet and the values of the culture in general. Please allow me to explain.

When I first opened the magazine with my green fingers, I was stunned to see numerous pictures of young women because I am so accustomed to all the cultures we have examined thus far revering their elders in literature, not their youth. In this culture, however, I have concluded that the inexperienced, attractive female youth control all aspects of the culture because they are practically the only people photographed within the first one-hundred pages of the magazine in both advertisements and articles. Also, every woman is stick-thin; I was unable to note any visible fat on the bodies of the models of this human race. For this reason, I believe our specimen must be put out of her misery before she suffers any more physically or emotionally because she does not fit the norm. Her existence on Earth must have been one of agony because she is so obese.

Because of all the pictures of the young women on which I laid my black, almond shaped eyes, I was able to determine that a major value of this culture is promiscuity.  On the rare occasion that a male does appear on the pages of Shape, he is surrounded by women whose body language speaks of sexual desire.  For example, in one advertisement for a company named Sony, a topless man is surrounded by three women who are nearly topless themselves.  Also, even when a woman is pictured alone, she is usually baring either her legs, stomach, cleavage, or all three.  An article about training to obtain a “sexier back and abs” shows one middriff-bearing woman being touched by a cleavage-bearing woman; the sexual values of the culture are clear.  Thin equals sexy according to human beings, and the thinner a human female, the more skin she should reveal.

As time passed and I flipped further into the magazine, I was shocked to see tiny pictures of pudgy women on three different pages.  However, these are actually stories of how each woman was able to “regain her self-esteem” by losing at least forty-five pounds.  After-pictures about four times the size of the pudgy pictures were opposite these smaller photographs.  This visual tactic is being used to actually show how little a woman ought to feel emotionally when she is fat (small, or unconfident) as opposed to how big she should feel emotionally when she is thin (large, or confident).  Once again, values of the culture are apparent through Shape, namely the idea that a only a thin woman is allowed to be confident.  We really ought to murder our specimen; she is truly pathetic by her culture_ s standards.

Ironically, directly following this whole section of articles about losing weight and maintaining low body-fat are seven consecutive pages with pictures of food, both tempting and healthy. Whomever controls the magazine must recognize that in order to maintain the cultural norm of being nearly bone-thin, the females must starve themselves during their workout time and eat only after the workouts are finished; therefore, the food images are conveniently placed after the workout articles. I am certain that if I had to put in the work that this magazine indicates is necessary to maintain an acceptable body, I would be stuffing my green stomach with the pictured foods such as nuts, pizza, and French fries. Maybe our specimen encountered the same problem: after her workouts, she may have consumed all of these foods, causing her work to be futile. After thoroughly examining Shape, I honestly believe we should turn our taser guns to the kill setting and just end our poor victim’s misery.

Captain, I hope that my memo has proved to be educational. I am much anticipating the time when you will be able to see this informative magazine Shape for yourself.

Memo 2, 18:30 hours:

Dear Captain,

Although I have now searched a city full of women and men for a specimen matching the ideal presented in the literature, I am disappointed to report that my hunt was unsuccessful. Maybe I am incorrect in originally stating that Shape will provide us with insight into the average woman of this planet. From what I can tell from the majority of real women on this planet, the only thing that Shape shapes is fiction. I hope that you have not yet slain our specimen, although maybe she is still better off dead. After all, according to her culture, the female humans of her shape and size are already dead.