Clinton Testimony

"The most mysterious area of human life..." -- Bill Clinton, Testimony Before the Starr Grand Jury, 8/17/98

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Context

After months of investigation and the questioning of many White House officials and employees, independent council Kenneth Starr forced President Bill Clinton to testify under oath about his relationship with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. The four-hour session was transmitted to the federal courthouse from the White House via closed circuit television.

Later that day, Clinton made a televised address to the nation in which he admitted that he had misled the public about his involvement with Lewinsky and apologized for his "critical lapse of judgment" and his "personal failure." However, he stressed that public had no right to intrude any further into his marital or extra-marital affairs, declaring "It's nobody's business but ours. Even presidents have private lives."

Television Address
Complete Transcript
"I put myself at risk, sir." - Clinton's views on finding a job for Monica Lewinsky (short clip)

Documents reveal depth of Lewinsky's feelings for Clinton

By Ron Fournier, Associated Press, 09/21/98

WASHINGTON - Monica Lewinsky considered President Clinton ''my sexual soulmate'' until long periods of inattention made it painfully clear that their relationship would not last. ''I feel disposable, used and insignificant,'' she said in a handwritten note to the president.

Asked by grand jurors on Aug. 20 to describe their relationship, Ms. Lewinsky said, ''More love, with a little bit of obsession, but definitely love.''

Hundreds of pages of documents released by Congress today reveal the depth of Ms. Lewinsky's feelings for Clinton, a married man more than twice her age.

''She's basically a good girl,'' Clinton told grand jurors in testimony released today. But he complained that she ''felt the need to cling'' when he tried to break the relationship off.

The mountains of paperwork unveiled today shows that even before Ms. Lewinsky began cooperating with Kenneth Starr, she provided prosecutors with a roadmap of the relationship.

Ms. Lewinsky circled dates in her pocket calendar every time she met or talked to Clinton. Her home computer's memory was filled with letters - some never sent - to the president and her friends. By the time she first testified, prosecutors had compiled for grand jurors a lengthy chart detailing the affair.

She called it ''the highlights of my relationship with the president.''

The chart outlined the affair with shorthand notations, such as ''non-verbal connection'' on Aug. 9, 1995 and ''pizza night'' Nov. 17, 1995.

''I knew I was in love with him ... and I thought he cared about me,'' she testified.

''Bill, I love you with all my heart,'' she wrote in 1997.

''Please be nice to me ... Please be my friend,'' she wrote Nov. 12, 1997, pleading for him to let them get together.

''I've always felt that he was sort of my sexual soulmate,'' she testified.

Again and again it's the same: ''You looked gorgeous ... simply delicious ... I'm tired of crying ... I love you ... ''

Asked if Clinton ever asked her to deny their affair, she said that wasn't necessary. ''I would always protect him.''

When the former White House intern finally realized the affair was over, she grew bitter. Underlining every word, she wrote to Clinton in June 1997, ''Please do not do this to me. I feel disposable, used and insignificant.''

''I believe the time has finally come for me to throw in the towel,'' she said in another note found on her computer. ''I give up. You let me down, but I shouldn't have trusted you in the first place.''

Following his Aug. 17 address to the nation confessing the affair, Ms. Lewinsky told grand jurors that Clinton seemed to dismiss their relations as a ''service contract.''

Among her more interesting observations, Ms. Lewinsky said:

They didn't have sex in the Oval Office itself because ''it wouldn't be appropriate, you know.''

White House aides tried to keep her away from Clinton because they were ''aware of his weaknesses.''

One grand juror chastised the former intern, saying Ms. Lewinsky had an affair with a married man before Clinton.

''And you turn around and do it again,'' said the grand juror, who was not identified. ''You're young. You're vibrant. I can't figure out why you keep going after things that aren't free - that aren't obtainable.''

Tape Four - Questions from Grand Jurors:

Q: If Monica Lewinsky has stated that her affidavit that she didn't have a sexual relationship with you is, in fact, a lie, I take it you disagree with that?

PRESIDENT CLINTON: No. I told you before what I thought the issue was there, I think the issue is how do you define sexual relationship. And there was no definition imposed on her at the time she executed the affidavit. Therefore, she was free to give it any reasonable meaning.

Q: And if she says she was lying –

PRESIDENT CLINTON: And I believe –

Q: – under your common sense ordinary meaning that you talked about earlier, Mr. President, that most Americans would have, if she says sexual relationship, saying I didn't have one was a lie because I had oral sex with the President, I take it, you would disagree with that?

PRESIDENT CLINTON: Now, we're back to where we started and I have to invoke my statement. But, let me just say one thing. I've read a lot, and obviously I don't know whether any of it's accurate, about what she said, and what purports to be on those tapes.

And this thing – and I searched my own memory. This reminds me, to some extent, of the hearings when Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill were both testifying under oath. Now, in some rational way, they could not have both been telling the truth, since they had directly different accounts of a shared set of facts. Fortunately, or maybe you think unfortunately, there was no special prosecutor to try to go after one or the other of them, to take sides and try to prove one was a liar. And so, Judge Thomas was able to go on and serve on the Supreme Court

What I learned from that, I can tell you that I was a citizen out there just listening. And when I heard both of them testify, what I believed after it was over, I believed that they both thought they were telling the truth.

This is – you're dealing with, in some ways, the most mysterious area of human life. I'm doing the best I can to give you honest answers.

Q: Mr. President –

PRESIDENT CLINTON: And that's all I can say.

Q: I'm sorry.

PRESIDENT CLINTON: And, you know, those people both testified under oath. So, if there'd been a special prosecutor, they could, one of them could have gone after Anita Hill, another could have gone after Clarence Thomas. I thank God there was no such thing then, because I don't believe that it was a proper thing.

Q: One of –

PRESIDENT CLINTON: And I think they both thought they were telling the truth. So, maybe Ms. Lewinsky believes she's telling the truth, and I'm glad she got her mother and herself out of trouble. I'm glad you gave her that sweeping immunity. I'm glad for the whole thing. I, I, I – it breaks my heart that she was ever involved in this.

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