The Ten Commandments I Wish I Could Follow Myself
Steve Beland

For a college student, the time in between Thanksgiving and Christmas is more often than not the most stressful period of the entire year. Not only do college students have to spend whatever little money they have saved on travel expenses and presents (sometimes for people they don't even know, i.e., Secret Santa in the workplace), but they somehow have to find time to write term papers and study for exams. It is because of this that students will often start their term papers (the ones they've had all semester to finish) the night before they're due. And all of us have crammed the night before a big test, trying to store all that information which we will need for the exam that we will forget immediately after we hand it in.

Procrastination and writer's block (the latter serving as an excuse for the former) affects both commuters and resident students; however, whichever you are, there are ways you can help yourself get that paper and your studying done while maintaining your sanity. From someone who knows based on years of college experience, here are the Ten Commandments I Wish I Could Follow Myself:

One, get comfortable but know you're allowed to leave the room. Have you ever been comfy in a place you couldn't get out of? That's like saying you feel cozy at the mall the day after Thanksgiving. Relax. This isn't a punishment. So get away from the door. Put down the plywood, the hammer and the nails and y'all come on back for number two.

Two, don't let distractions distract you. If you feel the need to put your headphones on, go ahead and do it. If you're writing a paper, however, try not to absentmindedly type Destiny's Child lyrics into the middle of your Hemingway essay. And if you’re stopping mid-sentence to keep from missing the chorus of the song you're listening to--whether you're reading or writing--then it's become a distraction. Personally, the TV has to be on when I'm studying or typing, but it has to be muted. It's odd. I know it is.

Three, don't let distractions distract you. If you have errands to run, run them before they run your paper into the ground. You got some place else to be, playa? Play on. Do whatever it is you do. What's that, dork? You've got Madden 2005 on pause? You're in the playoffs?! Go. Get it out of your system, then study. Don't be sitting down trying to start a paper if you're too anxious to finish something else. Something that is of so much more importance, I know.

Returns after finishing a game of Madden 2005. What? Come on, I'm in the playoffs!

Four, have a plan. Staring at a blank computer screen for a long period of time has to be bad for your eyes. It's also frustrating. Have some sense of where your essay should start and finish. Have your notes ready. If you didn't take notes, re-read or at least skim over the source material and jot some down. When you're studying for an exam, you need to figure out what's on it beforehand. That doesn't mean hacking into your professor's computer the night before the test. It means being able to decipher between what's important and what won't be on the exam. Try using a highlighter and/or index cards. 

Five, and this is strictly for you term paper people out there, have a clear thesis. A thesis, kids, is an argumentative statement. Don't state the obvious. Remember, the thesis is the most important part of the paper because your entire essay is spent proving it. It helps to have a good title and a witty conclusion but combined they both count for very little when compared to your thesis.

Six, breaks aren't a bad thing as long as they're short, and few in number. If you want to make yourself a sandwich, go right ahead. If you're plugging in the crock pot, you've got problems. I like to reward myself with breaks. I won't take a breather while I'm studying until I've finished reading up to a certain chapter, or if I'm typing a paper I won't get up before I've added another page to my essay. If you're stuck and/or you're exhausted, a nap may help. Make sure you'll have enough time to finish when you wake up, however. And don't forget to set your alarm.

Seven, if you can avoid it, don't work for a string of days before sitting down to study or type a paper. Nobody wants to do a paper on their one day off. It feels the same as working every single day. The likelihood of you needing to take a lot of breaks that will hinder your progress will go way up. There are people who love to do lots of work only to do more work, and they're called doctors. Unless you're one of those, you should adhere to this rule. If you need to work to pay for tuition, that's a different story. If you're working to save up for that Prada bag you saw at the mall (I've never had a problem with this), put it on your Christmas list instead. 

Eight, don't look for a way out. Most papers aren't novels and most finals don't resemble the bar exam. You can get it done on time. Don't email your professor at 3am the morning it's due. Even if you do get an extension, you know you're going to be in this exact same position tomorrow night. Don't try to give an Oscar caliber performance at a doctor's office in order to get a note that will excuse you from a test. It's not a golden ticket. You still have to take the exam, if not now, the first week of school next semester. 

Nine, don't freak out. Put some effort into it and you'll get it done. Read over the notes you took. Quiz yourself. Save your paper while your typing it up. Save it often. Save it to a floppy disk or copy and paste it into an email and send it to yourself. That way you'll be able to get a hold of your paper from any computer with an internet connection. For the record I would like to state that I was the first to come up with the concept of students emailing papers to themselves. Anyway, don't freak out. But if you do manage to lose your paper after all that, well then by all means freak out.

Ten, staple the paper. I don't understand how people can do ten-plus pages in one night only to not put a staple in it before they hand it in. Drive safely. Don't be going over Erik Ericson's theory of whatever in your head, run a stop sign and barrel into my car. Don't forget to bring something to write with. 

There are the ten. Hopefully they're helpful to you. Try not to get too stressed out. Don't forget, a good thesis will score you big points. And remember, no test is ever that hard unless it's in Spanish.